📖 Sacred Testimony LIV
“When I Couldn’t Make It Alone”
offered with trembling hands, holy truth, and the cry to be clean again
We got back together.
I didn’t love him.
But I was scared—
scared I couldn’t make it on my own,
scared I wouldn’t have a roof,
scared I wouldn’t be strong enough
to raise a child in this world without help.
So I married him again.
Not from the heart,
but from fear.
I started saving for a new trailer—
something of my own.
A place on my parents’ land.
Something that looked like hope
from the outside.
But behind closed doors,
it became something else.
He wanted things that made me disappear.
He wanted me to go to bed with other men
while he watched.
And I did.
And afterward—
I felt like something holy in me
had been defiled.
I felt so dirty.
So hollow.
So ashamed.
It was the kind of shame
that seeps into the soul,
that makes you forget
you were ever sacred in the first place.
But I speak it now.
Because this too
must be remembered.
Not to relive it—
but to release it.
🌿 And now I see:
It wasn’t weakness.
It was survival.
It wasn’t consent.
It was coercion dressed as love.
And I am not that woman anymore.
But I will never silence her.
Because she mattered.
And she still needs to be heard.
