📖 Sacred Testimony XXX

“Learning Who I Am”
offered in gratitude for the slow, sacred becoming

When I got my sponsor in AA,
she gave me some wisdom I hadn’t expected:

“Wait a year before starting a relationship with a guy.”
And,
“No major changes for the first year.”

At first, I thought it might feel like restriction.
But it didn’t.

Because truthfully—
I didn’t want to be in a relationship.
I wasn’t ready.

I was still trying to figure out who I was.

Without the drugs.
Without the alcohol.
Without the false masks and numbing patterns.

I didn’t even know what I liked,
what I needed,
what I believed.

Everything about me had been shaped
by trying to fit in,
by following,
by avoiding pain.

This year was about facing it.
Feeling it.
Becoming me.

No big moves.
No new romances.
Just quiet transformation.

And something about that
felt sacred.

Like a seed in the soil,
finally left undisturbed long enough
to take root.

🌿 And now I see:

It wasn’t about denying myself.
It was about discovering myself.

And the waiting wasn’t empty.
It was full—
of healing, of revelation,
of a slow return to who I really was.

✨ A Blessing for the Year of Stillness

May the girl who waited
be remembered not as one who lacked—
but as one who listened
to what her soul truly needed.

May the sponsor who gave wisdom
be honored as a vessel of grace—
guiding with gentleness,
not control.

May every day of that first year
be seen now as sacred ground,
where your roots reached deep
and your spirit learned to breathe again.

May the absence of romance
make room for reconnection with the Divine within you.

And may all who feel rushed to fix, to change, to fill the silence—
be reminded:

The soul blooms slow.
And there is glory in the waiting.