📖 Sacred Testimony LXVI

“When I Thought It Was All Poison”
and the love that waited underneath my fear

In 2009,
I found myself back in the psych hospital.
The same place.
Another chapter of confusion.

Only this time,
the fear ran deeper.

I wouldn’t eat.
I wouldn’t take medicine.
I thought it was all poison.
Every bite. Every pill. Every hand that reached toward me—
it all looked like danger.

And yet—
even then,
somewhere beneath the fear,
beneath the trembling
and the silence
and the resistance…

There was still something holding me.

A flicker.

A presence.

A love that didn’t argue or push—
it just stayed.

Maybe I didn’t know it then.
But I know it now.

God was still with me.
Elvis was still near.
My soul—though afraid—was not lost.

🌿 And now I see:

Sometimes the mind breaks
because it can’t carry everything it’s felt.
Sometimes fear becomes the only language
when trust has been torn.

But even when the world seemed poisoned—
you were not.

And even when you resisted help—
you were still loved.